IGWE Ikenna Stephen, CSJ (Igwestephen23@gmail.com

09064093182.)

There are people who do not need loud weapons to conquer. They do not shout, nor do they threaten. All they need is a gift, a small act of kindness, a snack, a helping hand, or even just a favour. It looks harmless, even generous. But buried within that gesture is a quiet seed, a silent chain being slipped around the neck of another.

These people are not interested in the favour itself; they are interested in the control it brings. They buy integrity not with money alone, but with deception surrounded in kindness. And once they do, the person who receives the help slowly becomes blind to their bidding. Without even realizing it, they begin to serve the one who helped them. Their thoughts shift; their loyalty bends. And when the time is right, the favour is repaid; not in money, but in silence, in defense, or even in betrayal of another.

The scariest part of it, is that the person who has fallen into this situation does not even know or realize this reality. They feel loyal, but to a lie; they defend, but not what is right. They become messengers, even spies; but the mastermind stays hidden in the shadows. And if anyone among them starts to see the truth, if one of them begins to wake up and try to act otherwise, the planner moves fast. They try to win them back with more kindness, or if that fails, they send others to turn against them. This in return, is how many good hearts are captured, and how truth is quietly suffocated; not with war, but with favours.

The hardest chains to break are the ones we never knew were there. These are not the chains of force, but of emotional debt. Many walk around carrying a borrowed loyalty, their eyes blindfolded by a kindness that came with hidden intentions. But what can be done for such souls? How can one wake up from these realities, this sweet-smelling delusion?

The first thing is truth; a quiet, piercing truth that comes like light at dawn. It begins with a “rhetorical question”; Why am I defending this person? Why does this person do things for me easily? Why do I feel obligated to this person? Why don’t I see fault in his actions? Why am I always quick to defend the person? When someone starts to trace the root of their actions, they may find a favour that quietly took their will hostage. Realizing this is painful, it feels like betrayal to question someone who was once kind to you. But this is not betrayal. This is freedom knocking.

Second, there must be courage; because once the eyes are open, the planner will try to pull the tricks again; through guilt, through flattery, through indirect pressure. It takes courage to say, “No more”. To stand for what is right, even if it means losing false friendships.

Finally, it requires grace; the kind of grace that only prayer and honesty before God can bring. Because only grace can fully clean the heart and restore the voice that was once borrowed.

No one is too far gone. The one who wakes up, even late, has a second chance, and that is hope.

To those who falls in these categories: A gentle reminder: If you are the one who has built your power on the quiet control of others, please listen. You may not see yourself as a Villain or Leviathan or Tyrant. You may believe that you are just helping, rewarding, guiding people in “your” direction. But the truth is deeper and more dangerous than you realize.

What you do might not feel like manipulation to you. Maybe it started small as a gift, a favour, but when you expect loyalty in return, when you condition others to act on your behalf, against their own inner free will you are not just influencing. You are enslaving, you are quietly stealing what is most sacred in a person; their free will. And even if they smile while doing what you ask, even if they seem happy to be your voice in the crowd, the chains you have placed on their spirit are real. One day, they will feel it, one day, they will wake up; and when they do, they may feel anger, they may feel shame. But most of all, they will feel robbed; Robbed of their voice, their clarity, their ability to say no.

Ask yourself, what kind of power do you want? The kind that must always be protected with lies, manipulation, and puppets? Or the kind that stands firm in truth, even if it stands alone. Because, what you build through manipulation will not last (it can never last). People will leave. Some will turn against you. Heraclitus will say: "everything flows; nothing is constant and you cannot step twice in the same river." Therefore, people evolve and grow in wisdom and maturity.

But there is still a way back; you can stop my dear friend, you can free those you have bound through your deceptive act, you can choose a leadership that respects conscience and not captures it. It is not too late to become the kind of person whose influence is based on truth and trust, not manipulation, deception and favours. But that choice must be made now, before the quiet destruction becomes louder than any redemption.

This reality of silence manipulation; I tell you my friend, has become the problem of the world. Because, this idea has been practicalized with few men, now it has been transferred to nations worldwide. For example, look at the chaos happening in the world presently; where one country is trying to show their dominance over other countries that they have helped with money, weapons, securities, medicines and other kind of supplies. When helping, they appear to be the best reliable source to other countries in need, hiding their intention for such act. And finally, when those countries and trying to break free from such situations, the Master country tries all possible best to keep them under their control. And when it seems difficult to achieve; they turn other country against them…is this what you also what to end up becoming my friend, a “Leviathan”?

My friend, there is something else you must know, as carefully as you disguise your influence with kindness, favours, or well-timed generosity, there are still people you cannot manipulate; Not everyone will fall for your quiet control, not everyone will be bought with snacks or praise, not everyone is blind my friend.

Some people walk through life with their eyes wide open; they may not speak much, but they see, they sense the quiet weight behind your kindness, the expectation behind your smile. And while they may accept your help politely, they do not hand over their conscience in return.

These are the ones you may not understand. They confuse you, even frustrate you. You may think they are proud or rebellious, but the truth is simple my friend, they are free. They have chosen to live by truth, not by trade, they know the difference between help and control; and they will not sell their integrity for comfort, approval, or power.

But please note, this does not make them better than others. It simply shows that they are attentive. This people my friend; “Respect them”. Because these are the ones who cannot be used. They are the ones who expose the limits of your influence, not to humiliate you, but to remind you that there is a higher way to live. They are not your enemies. In fact, they might be your only chance to change.

A final word my dear friend, you might take it as a gift from me to you: “Love Is the Only Way.”

If there is one truth that can break the idea of control, deception, and manipulation, it is this; we are not meant to compete with each other, we are meant to be one (ut unum sint). We were not created to step on one another just to rise; Regan Osika will say, “in your journey to impress do not sacrifice your brothers”. We were not made to use others for our gain. We were made in the image of Christ, who emptied Himself not to control, but to serve. To love. To lift others up.

Look around you my friend, we are more alike than we are different. Everyone is carrying something; some pain, some fear, some longing to be accepted. If we could only pause, just long enough to see the image of Christ in one another, maybe we would stop seeing people as threats, or tools, or means to an end. And start seeing them as brothers. Sisters in the image of and likeness of God.

My friend, Jesus Christ did not love us because we were useful. He loved us even when we were broken and have drawn far from Him through sin. He saw what we could be, when we are healed by love. And He asked us to love one another in the same way. It is only through this kind of love, which are; pure, selfless, free, that we can fight the quiet evils that divide us. Love that does not manipulate. Love that does not control. The concept of Ubuntu teaches us about humanity towards others; that a person can be successful if in him/her is in unity/harmony with the society (I am because we are).

When we live this way, we no longer fall into the trap of using others or being used. Let us choose this higher path of loving one another in the image of God and in the selfless way our Lord Jesus Christ loved his disciples; for anyone who so wishes to be a Leader should first be a servant and not a Leviathan as Thomas Hobbes proposed. Let us become what we were always meant to be, which is to be a reflection of Christ’s love in a world that so badly needs healing and empathy. Just like the good Samaritan who stopped his journey to help someone in need of help, after helping, never expect anything in return.

 

 

Let us say this prayer of Saint Leonardo Murialdo meditatively and in the silence of our heart;

O Lord, teach us to love not just ourselves nor only those who love us. Teach us to think of others and those whom no one loves. Lord, make us share the suffering of others. Teach us to love those lacking happiness; who suffer and cry, the poor who have need of bread and work. Never allow us to live only for ourselves, but make us feel the anguish of so much sorrow. Amen!