Paul, the prolific letter writer and prominent Apostle of Christ, says in 1Corinthians 13:13: “But for now, these three continue: faith, hope, and charity (i.e. love). And the greatest of them is charity.”

In his several letters to different groups and individuals, Paul, a converted advocate of Christ, accounts for at least a quarter of the contents of the New Testament. Jesus has condensed the Decalogue (the Ten Commandments) into two statements anchored on love: Love of the Father, and love of one’s neighbour as oneself. Paul rates love even above faith, the very foundation of our spirituality. How realistic is this?

Let me quickly dispense with a disturbing issue. I feel uncomfortable about someone loving me as they love themselves, using their own standard to determine the meaning and essence of love. There are people who obviously do not love themselves; and asking them to love others is like asking them to give what they do not have. The person who indulges in hard drugs and other acts harmful to himself, or a criminal who constantly exposes himself to danger, certainly does not love himself, and so has very little quantity of love to share. Such a person is involved either in installmental suicide, or susceptible to violent death, and I do not want him to extend such a love to me. If that is love, then hatred begs a new meaning. Thus, I would rather want someone to love God and love their neighbours in the true sense of the word, not in any negative sense.

Love is an indescribable feeling of commitment to one’s own welfare or the welfare of others. Of course, self-love is when that feeling originates from within you, giving you a sense of self-pride and self-esteem. Self-pride is a great virtue; it is an inner conviction that you are above shameful or disgraceful conduct. It is only such a person that can be expected to extend that love to others, in a positive and healthy manner. Since man is created in the image of God, love of one’s neighbour means seeing that Godly image in one’s neighbour.

Also, since the human body is the temple of God, loving oneself means always keeping that temple pure and holy. So, a necessary condition to loving your neighbour is to love oneself. Self-love is the foundation of all love, both for God and for man.

But the love for God is unconditional, and has nothing to do with whether you love yourself or not. It is an act of serious transgression to fail to love God. It is tantamount to not believing in His existence, and you are no different from the atheist. “And you shall love the Lord your God from your whole heart, and from your whole soul, and from your whole mind, and from your whole strength. This is the first commandment” (Mark 12:30). It is a divine command, not a mere precept or optional request. You must love God with your whole heart, soul, mind, strength, body, and intellect; indeed, with every fibre of your being. That is what is called agape love - the highest possible love.

Loving God is equivalent to worshipping Him, in thankfulness and praise for creating you and providing you with all you have. It is not mere love, and it should not be equated with loving your neighbour who is your colleague or partner. So, that injunction that Jesus gave to the Israelites, in answer to the question as to which is the first commandment (Mark 12:28), is a serious law that must not be violated, and is, indeed, unpardonable, because it amounts to not believing in the existence of God. We simply have no choice but to love God. Love is the supreme law. Your love for neighbour is also obligatory, but secondary in nature to that of God. The fact is that if you are unable to love your neighbour that you see, you cannot seriously claim to love God that you cannot see. To the faithful and loving heart, God is the Invisible-Made-Visible. Not only do you feel the presence of God around you and within you, you are so intimate with Him that you can actually see Him with your inner eye, and really talk to Him with the inner mind. Unless you develop that personal relationship with Him, as a child does to the earthly father, you cannot begin to talk of loving God.

It is love that intimately binds the family and makes them indivisibly one. The Holy Family of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus, is the supreme model for all families in which divine love radiates. The family is the smallest unit of society, while society is a microcosm of the larger world. When love fails to prevail in a family, the consequences spill over to the society, and ultimately to the whole world.

The criminals and gangsters terrorizing the society and making the world an unpleasant place to live in are products of a failed family through broken marriages, separated couples, quarrelsome partners, ending up on the bitter platform of divorce. Unfortunately, it is the society that pays the heavy price of a loveless family.

Even corrupt and incompetent politicians, providing poor leadership, are the result of poor upbringing where the basic virtues of love, honesty and integrity, have not been taught during their formative years as children. The family is the foundation for whatever anybody ultimately becomes in life. Love is the glue that keeps the family bonded. Where love is lost, everything is lost; things fall apart and the centre cannot hold.