John ESENE

        

    On May 17, 2019 we were told how a bridegroom walked out on his bride after Church wedding at the reception, when he realized that his bride faked many things. His bride and many of their guests ran after him asking, “What was the matter?” He was shouting, “I no do again!” as he crossed a busy road in Lagos and went away. Well, marriage is not by force!

      In 2025, Agnes rejected proposer-ring when her boyfriend, Andrew approached her. They had been in relationship for 9 months and their friends and relations were anxiously waiting for them to unite as husband and wife. When Andrew started proposing, Agnes simply asked him, “Can you give me your conditions to enable me decide whether or not I can be your other self? I have been praying for this day”. All the people who were present at the scene were shocked and started murmuring: while some were speaking in her favor others were condemning her. But in a situation such as this, you don’t have to worry about what people say but rather, what God says.

    Then Andrew said aloud, “I love you so much that am ready to provide for you all you will need if you marry me. But you have to stop work though you presently earn a good salary. You will be at home to cater for me and our children while I work for your upkeep. In fact, just ask for anything any day and you will have it at your beck and call. One more thing: you will not go out chatting with friends about our relationship, lest they will be envious of you and mislead you. Yes, I love you, now have the ring!” He started singing Davido’s song, FIA.

Dab, make I dab

Give me love, make I love

Place no other one above.

 

      Agnes smiled and asked him: “Are you through?” Andrew said, “One more thing: as a man of the house, I can move in and out when I like and can even have a side-chick according to our custom but you cannot do that. Now, have the ring!” He then stretched out his hand expecting Agnes to obey him. Everyone present at the Inn was silent.

    Then Agnes opened up gradually and boldly saying, “After all I went through to obtain 1st and 2nd degrees, worked for years, you want to lock me in your house as a slave and housemaid while you move freely and even have side-chick? I am sorry: though I am a woman, I don’t deserve to be your slave. So, good luck and all is over with you!” Then, she walked away.

      The man should not forget God’s purpose for giving him a wife. Gen. 2:18, 24 says, “Then, the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife and THEY BECOME ONE”. There was no intension of enslavement in their union. Any man who treats his wife as his own flesh will know that a woman is sweet, kind, humble, supportive, sympathetic, strong, responsible, friendly, caring, priceless, unique, wonderful, special and God sent.

      In March 2020 when Stay-At-Home Order was given because of Covid-19, some men became conscious of the functions their wives were carrying out in their respective homes and appreciated them publicly. 

      Mr. Timilehin told NAN, “On a normal day, I don’t get to stay with my wife and children because of the nature of my job. I leave the house at 6.30am every working day and come back at 10.30pm. So, we hardly have time to share thoughts. Now I carry our baby most of the time; my wife who didn’t believe I could take care of infants now believes me.”

       Mr. Collins Agbor, a 30-year-old civil servant said, “I now appreciate all mothers out there, especially my wife, for efforts in taking care of the home. I now know that taking care of children, especially toddlers is a real work. My three children, aged two, four and six years play a lot. You have to shout at them countless number of times; you have to watch them so that they don’t injure themselves. Women are trying.”

      Today, we talk about the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph as model for all Christian Families. St. Joseph has done his part and it is our turn to imitate him. St. Joseph treated Our Lord Jesus Christ and Our Mother Mary with cordiality worthy of emulation. Hail Guardian of the Redeemer, Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary, to you God entrusted His only Son; in you Mary placed her trust; with you Christ became man. Kindly impose your virtues on all married men to enable them play the good role God expects them to play as good husbands and fathers in Jesus’ Name.

     Before you cage your wife, refer to Proverb 31:10-11, 15-18, 31 which says, “How hard is it to find a capable wife! She is far worth more than jewels. Her husband puts his confidence in her and he will never be poor. She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant-girls what to do. She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard. She is a hard worker, strong and industrious. She knows the value of everything she makes, and works late into the night. Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone”.

      Dear spouses, pray for yourselves and those who are not doing well: we are in the same society and the effect of their wrong doing will affect others if they continue that way. Also pray that Our Blessed Mother Mary counsel all mothers and imbibe Her virtues on them and make our homes a real dwelling place of peace. O Lord, burn away all the selfishness in us that we may love like you do without attaching conditions. Teach us to see others the way you see them and grant us the grace to be compassionate as we journey on this earth.