Jacob served Laban for 14 years so he could marry Rachel. He eventually married her, loved her and lived happily with her. “And for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.  So, they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together” Mk 10:7-8. Those who take delight in trying to separate couples should know that ”The Lord sees everything you do. Wherever you go, He is watching you” Prov 5:21.

       God had emphasized that the man and his wife are one flesh hence they should be on their own but relations and friends do all they can to get involved in the couples affairs. God’s motive is for the woman to make the man happy as the bone of his bones, and it is proper too that the man encourages her to enable her perform her duty perfectly.

So, how well have you been doing in your relationship? Read through these items below and examine your relationship with your spouse before you answer this million dollar question.
       You got married to a good girl who has not been able to get pregnant after two to five years and your relations and friends are raising brimstone. Some friends and relations decided to abandon you for your inability to have children or change your partner. Will you try to please people so you can follow the crowd rather than wait on God and live in peace with your partner? What God says matters more than what people say.

      Your wife loves you and your relations with all seriousness but they fell out with her because she had four children (all females), something they thought was abomination. “God gives us children as special gifts: male or female, they are all children” so you believed but your relations’ stand in this case provoked you to think otherwise. Suddenly, your peaceful home becomes rowdy. Do they know that what you garbage in you will garbage out? Besides, God is the one who decides whether or not you should have both male and female!

      Your children hardly see their mother because she spends most of her day at work, so they look more of motherless babies as they feel her absence most of the time. If you think she seems to value her career more than her family, you can both look into it without being influenced by outsiders. If there are other ways to fill the gap, then, tell it to Jesus. With God on your side, your problem will be resolved.
 
       You decided to be a man of the people by bringing your relations to live with you to enable you sponsor and supervise their education. “Charity begins at home, for sure!” There is need to share your wealth with others especially your loved ones. These young relations abuse the opportunity by reporting you and your wife constantly to their parents. You eventually find out that there is constant friction between you and their parents as long as you keep these people with you.

     Your wife is a public officer, highly educated and richer than you. She seems to have no much regards for you probably because of her affluence. Your friends and relations now call you “Woman Rapa” In your efforts to prove them wrong, you become a wrestling or boxing champion to the detriment of your wife. You are bold to tell them how you turned her into a punching bag to win their admiration and popularity.

       You and your wife decided to have just three children but your parents objected to this plan because you are their only son. You love your parents and have never disobeyed them. Your parents are right but you did not stop them from having more children: you have your own life to live. Besides you must take a decision putting into consideration your wife’s disposition to this development.

      Your partner is overwhelmed by an ailment which has confined him/her to your apartment for a very long time and your relations and friends think you have to look elsewhere because you are just too young to live a dull life. If you allow this piece of advice to trouble your mind, you will flaunt your marriage vows and betray your Christian faith. “Some people ruin themselves by their own stupid actions and then blame the Lord” Prov. 19:3.
        Where do you place God as you take your decision in any of the above situations? Remember the marriage vows you made in the presence of God and His people: “I take you to be my wife/husband; in sickness and in health, for better and for worse”.  Paul reminds us, “Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hates his own body. Instead, he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ does the Church” Eph 5:28-29.

        Woman, let the man beat you to second position while you drive him to first position for the good of both of you. You have nothing to lose when you support him even when his relations are on your neck. Be his key notes, his night nurse when he needs no doctor for real. In the debt of the night, resolve your differences with him as his nurse. “Keep the fire burning, fire burning, and burning” Erick Donaldson says.

        It is compulsory for you to make the man better than you met him: make him wiser, richer, gentler, holier, more tolerant, acceptable and responsible, more prayerful and dependent on God, such that your actions will speak louder than words. “No woman, no cry!” protested Jimmy Cliff. These done, the man will recognise you as his true bone and will not expose you to others because you are truly part of him: no man will rebel against his own body.

        Man, God knows what is good for you; hence He decided to console you with a woman. “Pretty and graceful as a deer, let her charms keep you happy, let her surround you with her love” Prov 5:19. On the other hand, the man should ensure she gets the support and encouragement she deserves to function well as expected. The dog believes “If I fall for you and you fall for me, this I regard as friendship but if I have to fall for you always without you falling for me, I will back out”. 

     If you have not been living up to your expectations, you can reconcile with your spouse to make your marriage worthwhile. Where there is love, a wife will not have to fight for equal right and her husband will not intimidate her. How beautiful it is when couples truly live as one with their partners! Their commitment to each other testifies to the world that a husband and wife can truly be one. May God bless and protect your marriage in Jesus’ Name!