Human beings are social animals. We are made for community life, that is, we are made for others and realize ourselves more fully in community with others. Thus, we will always be indebted to others on many things.

Having said that, in social economics, no one owes the other anything. We draw out of the pot as much as we put into it. If you have not put in many thing, then you cannot expect to take out anything. If we all refuse to contribute to humanity’s pot of goodwill and social surplus, then there will be nothing to give out in charity and our society loses in that environment, becoming a victim of its own greed.

Spiritually, we say love begets love. As the saying goes “If you see no love, add love and you will find love.” Today, many people have an incongruous and toxic sense of entitlement. Everybody owes them something, they are the only ones who owes nothing. From transport fare to birthday cake and gifts, they never forget to remind you that you are yet to send their gift. 

Of course, this happens when they know that your own celebrations occurs every year, yet they will not bother to send any gift, but expect you to move the mountain for them. You visited your boyfriend and want him to treat you like a queen, yet you would not treat him like a king deserving of a queen. He must do your every bidding like a poor slave. If you don’t treat him well now, surely he will treat you badly tomorrow. You are not the only one that craves love and support and the opportunity to be doted upon. Truth be told, stop crossing the ocean for those who will not cross the gutter for you.”

Life is not fair to many of us if not all of us, but that is no excuse to exploit others or put them in a bond as if they owe you something. Be grateful for the much you get from people and move on. All of us would have to try to be independent in the sense of fighting for ourselves and doing things for ourselves instead of waiting for others to be at your beck and call.

A lie of perpetual dependence on others cannot bring a sense of fulfilment that each of us need. Sometimes, we have to tell ourselves, “Enough of begging!” Let me get up and fashion out something for myself.  Because of the many professional beggars in our lives today, it has become extremely hard to be charitable to those who genuinely need our help. One is often tempted to discountenance some appeals because you are not sure if they truly need it or maybe they are just looking for a “mugu” or “maga” to scam. Life should not be this way. Everywhere one turns today, there is always someone looking for help.  These people have become professional because they know all the right words to say to disturb your conscience to force you to do something. For instance, “Nothing at all naa im bad” that is, not giving anything is what is bad” by which they mean that you should give something. Sometimes they tell you, “I know you can do it.”  These and similar phrases are used to make us feel bad and therefore, forced to give them anything. But the fact is Charity should not be forced, nor should one be manipulated to do what one does not wish to do. If it is force, the person probably does not need it and is only manipulating the good nature of the giver.

To be obnoxious is to be extremely unpleasant. It means the action of the person has become objectionable and undesirable. Why would some descend so low?  Why we may not behave alike, but there is an acceptable level of decorum and courtesy that every human person should learn and practice if we want to make society pleasant for us all. As Christians, it is incumbent on us to be pleasant to people, to be compassionate and friendly.   When we approach people with these attitudes, then, we are likely to get what we want. And once we get what we want, we should activate our sense of decorum and act to be satisfied with what has been given and leave the person alone. This is not an opportunity to jump to another person.  Sometimes by jumping from person to person, we lose ourselves and our sense of dignity. We lose all initiative to improve the quality of our life and our obnoxious sense of entitlement becomes the shackle that binds us to poverty and retardation. This type of life is not worth living. The Lord has set us free, and we should live in the freedom of the children of God. Work and pray, apply yourself, take the initiative, blaze new trails and favour will find you. If you decide to depend on others for what you can do for yourself, then true life will elude you. Is that what you want? So, let us all stop being obnoxious and embrace others as companions on this journey through life.