Fr. Richard OMOLADE

Social media was aghast recently with Mr. Tony Elumelu’s reaction to a young graduate trainee’s perceived disrespect when she remarked “Good Morning, Tony” and she was told that in this environment, he would prefer he had been addressed as “Mr. Elumelu” instead of sticking to foreign culture or what is now defended as Workplace culture of professional culture. Others have also noted the lady’s lack of awareness about what had taken place and her unwillingness to offer an apology.

It is true that workplaces have their distinct culture, but it must be noted that this is Nigeria and Africa and before we became professionals, we were first and foremost Nigerians, formed according to traditional ethos and practice. It is thus imperative that everyone in any form of relationship with others must understand the context in which they are operating. We have professional space and public forum; we have familiar encounter and interpersonal relationship. If one fails to understand the demands of each situation, then, the encounter may become disturbed, and the goal of any good communication will not be accomplished.

Context always matter, and it is our responsibility to know where we are and what is expected of us. Most people know this by being told or observing how those before us do things. This is why it is always good to be observant and understand what is going on before jumping into a situation. Disrespect or lack of it thereof is surprisingly common. From colleagues that feel everyone is equal to seniors who feel age accords them the right to disrespect. Whatever the situation, a culture of respect is beneficial to human relationship and there is a lot to gain and much more to lose when it is lacking.

Religious circles are usually characterized by respect accorded to men of God. This is expected since it is believed that these men of God do not represent themselves, but God. Hence, honour and respect shown to priests and pastors are due because they are God’s representatives. But then, Letter to the Hebrews reminds us that “priests have been chosen from among men to represent them in things pertaining to God.” Some people sometimes look at priests with some ordinariness that betrays their lack of understanding of the true nature of priests. In Yorubaland where respect for elders and positions are sacrosanct, it is not uncommon to see some elders using the singular pronoun to address some priests they know are young. For instance, “Father, mo nki o!” It would appear that such people are fixated on age when the unique position of priests calls for proper decorum of respect. Sometimes, some friends can also fall into this trap of displaying habits that others would term disrespectful. This is why it is important for all to study the context and know what is required on each occasion.  When we are with friends and colleagues, first names, nicknames and aliases  may be appropriate, but should someone else, outside of that group be present, then we must have the decency to shift the gear to a more formal and respectful  protocols. Many people fail to make this shift, and this can negatively impact relationship and deter good outcomes.

Respect is foundational for a good and healthy relationship. For Christians, respect is an aspect of love. If we love someone, we will respect them and treat them with dignity and adulation. Respecting others is a form of respect because you will receive what you give. In relating with others, we must keep one message in mind “Respect people and you will be respected, it starts with you. Respect is recognizing the fact that we as human beings are unique since we share in God’s intrinsic dignity. When we respect others we proclaim to the world that we acknowledge that people have worth and if their worth has been accorded them by God who created all in His image and likeness, then respect is a non-negotiable variable for a lasting and good relationship. Ultimately then, lack of respect is not a validation of your worth, but a point to their abysmal character.

In the final analysis, when people are obnoxious to you, when they are blatant in their disrespect, we must be courageous to set our boundaries. Disrespect will close doors quickly because no one wants to be undervalued. Respect is measure of our compassion quotient. If we cannot feel with others, it will be difficult for us to show them respect. To feel with others demands that we know them more than superficially. Hence, some background information helps us to know the people we are dealing with and tailor our interaction in such a way that they feel valued, loved and respected. This approach is loving as well as professional, it is cultural as well as social but above all, it is compassionate. If life is all business for us, then we will treat one another as instruments and as means to an end, but we are human beings, beloved of God and created in His image. This should demand some respect!