John ESENE             

  Your partner is an entity created by God to journey with you for a purpose. So, see him as God sent! So it was with Adam and Eve, the first human beings to be created; our first parents; first husband and wife. And they remained one flesh till death separated them: the word divorce was not in their dictionary.

   Your partner has been endowed with great potentials; much more potentials than you can imagine. Are you ready to help him discover and develop these potentials? Think about it and help him!

    He has more experience than you can see for now; a bundle of suffering and celebrations, achievements and disappointments, fears of the unknown, yet very hopeful. By marrying him, be sure to stand by him in all his endeavors.

    His life has been programmed by God Our Creator: a program he is destined to accomplish. That his creation may not be wasted, support him to fulfill his obligation.  That is one of the reasons you are his companion. He too will help you, when two hands wash each other, both will be clean.

    We cannot live without problems even though we don’t have to look for problems anyway!  While he tries to solve his problems, he would stumble without telling you.  He can withstand untold hardships but as your partner, he needs your consolation to feel good.

     His encounters with people have impact on him: some welcomed him while others rejected him. He knows no true friend even though all seem friendly to him. We are all aware that in crisis, friends and neighbors kill each other. And these days, spouses kill each other. But you should be his true friend to make him rise again! You must not expose his weaknesses to his foes because you are both one flesh.

     God has pre-ordained that your partner has something he can surely do better than any other living being. He needs your contribution to help lift him to achieve this set objective that he may have a story to tell and a song to joyfully sing. Please be available to him that he may speak with you of his dreams. As a human being, it may take him a long time to locate his shadow; hence, you have to be patient with him.

    Some couples can stay together rather than live together: whichever you ask for he would oblige. By your actions, he can be selfish or selfless though he wants to clap two hands rather than one. In all sincerity, his hope rests so much on you as his partner! So, make yourself available to him that he may go for a better result.

    Once in a while you know more about him and wonder aloud why you can’t know him fully well. But no man knows himself fully: everyone has his dark spot. You will know him better if only you allow him to be in all facets of your life as your partner. One good turn deserves another: as you support him to be where he should, he too will help you to know who you are.

     In your marriage journey, you are not expected to expose your partner’s weaknesses except when it has to do with reparations to life. Your first step is to call his attention to it while you pray inwardly for God’s guardians in this regard. Sometimes, when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place. Sometime ago a man misconstrued his wife and later told his friend in a drinking pop and was encouraged to deal with her. Many months later his friend married same woman after she was divorced.  Do not blame the goat or lizard for climbing a collapsed wall but blame the collapsed wall rather!

      Oftentimes, you wonder why you can’t control him. There is an extent you can control a living being. So be in his company to lead him and be led by him as well. Know today that your partner is an image of God though a co-traveller on earth. So, pray that God our Creator control him rather than you controlling him.

   Give people the benefit of doubt when they do or say what you least expected of them. If otherwise, you may misjudge their actions and allow the devil to manipulate the situation to a level you will live to regret. 1 Peter 5:8 warned “Be alert, be on the watch! Your enemy, the devil, roams round like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” We must not allow the devil to tear apart the family we built over the years through anger, misjudgment, impatience, etc. When things fall apart, the center will surely not hold!

     Dear husband, you desire to have a GOOD WIFE. Hence I suggest you read Proverb 31:1-12, 15-18, 25-31. The road for a good wife is tough, so she needs your support just as I encourage her to support you as the head of the family in all the paragraphs above. No woman is bad as some men think. Before you judge your wife, know that nobody is perfect. So, give kudos to her where she is strong and help her to overcome her weaknesses because she is part of your flesh.

     The man judging his wife should realize that not all the things he condemns in her are really bad or as bad as they seem to be. Your judgments are sometimes influenced by your position, state of mind, love, hatred, etc. Besides, you too have your bad sides!  No woman can have all the qualities described in the Proverb referred to above but your wife certainly have some or most of them and with your support, she can do better! Think about it.

Dear readers, let us wait for Part 2 for more on this topic, “YOU AND YOUR PARTNER”