John ESENE

Continuation of Pt.1 of last week!

     When God imposed you on your parents, you wanted to remain in your comfort zone: your mother’s womb. On the day you were born, you protested with a violent cry as you got exposed to people and environment like we all deed when we were born. As the fear of the unknown pervaded your mind, you were consoled by your parents and others in many ways! You could not have your bath but others have to do it for you for many years before God qualified you to do same. They gathered round to give you name of their choice without your consent. Until much later before you knew it, accepted and responded to that name.

     So, no man is an Island! We need each other as we sojourn here on earth. As planned by God, people took their time to educate you both at home, in school, Church and wherever you go because you are a gift to them just as they are gifts to you too.   That is the more reason while you should respect others and they too will respect you. Love is give and take! At a point in time, you have to earn a living by working for others and get salary in return: be it business form or working directly for money.

    Now that you know that God put all these growth and developmental plans in place for you, it is compulsory for you to thank God and walk towards Him to empower you as you search for yourself an identity. First of all, know God’s purpose for your creation and work on it to enable you fulfill the purpose for your life. So, who is God to you? How can you hear and recognize His voice? Beg Him to open your eyes and ears to see and hear Him, lest you derail and walk towards the opposite and regret it! “God looks down from heaven upon the sons of men to see if there are any that are wise that seek after Him.” Ps 53:2.

    According to Job 28:23-24, 28, “God alone knows the way, knows the place where wisdom is found, because He sees the ends of the earth, sees everything under the sky. To be wise, you must have reverence for the Lord. To understand, you must turn from evil”. As long as you live, keep these in mind.

     You know certain things about yourself just as people around you do. These actions and reactions in you are not hidden from those around you as well as yourself: they may be negative or positive but they are all in your consciousness. There are things you know and others do not know about you. But it is amazing, however, that you yourself being the actor does not know that you do those things. Oftentimes, I feel sorry when I hear people saying, “Oh, I know that man in and out: I know everything about him!” Unfortunately, the man you are talking about does not know everything about himself.  Each time he does what you did not know about him in time past, you get to know him better and make such expressions, “Femi, I never knew you could do this to me!” or “ My good friend, you surprise me with your achievement. How did you do it?”

    There are certain things, neither you nor I know about myself. This claim is not a fallacy as you think because some of your activities can suddenly open up some hidden parts of you and when you or others recognize these fixtures, they automatically become known and so enlarge what is known of you and reduce what is hidden in you. When a man was trapped long ago in his working environment by insecurity, he could not return to his family, hence he had to spend time putting all he saw in a write-up form to his family. Afterwards, his audience encouraged him to write a book for a larger audience and that was how he gradually became an author of some books. There is need for you to know yourself, in order that you may accept yourself, love yourself, be yourself and grow further to live a fulfilled life.  

   What you know about yourself is what brought you to where you are and what you are yet to know is where you will be the next moment. The search for your identity is a step in the right direction as it leads you to a full purpose-driven life; giving you the opportunity to know God’s will for you and encourages you to be who you ought to be.

     I think it is pertinent for those who consider themselves due for marriage to sincerely search and know their true identity before they look for their appropriate partners-to-be. If you do not know your worth, how do you know your true needs? If you do not know who you are, how do you find your right partner? I have never seen a man with two right hands or two left hands: you have one right hand and one left hand to function well. If a man does not know he is hot tempered, he is likely to marry a hot tempered woman. And two hot tempered spouses cannot co-exist as married couples. “Two wrongs cannot make a right!” says an adage.

    A primary school teacher once wrote: “My pupil became my teacher and I was his pupil. He taught me the meaning of perseverance and love. From him, I learnt how to believe in myself and maybe, even take a chance in someone and I don’t know how!”

     If you want to be a gift to others as others are gifts to you, you should know yourself, your character and temperament, your good qualities and limitations, your tendencies and inclinations. If you eagerly look inwards and pray over this project, you will gradually realize that you cannot see yourself objectively from outside. But do not give up: please go on searching for your true identity!