John ESENE

Continue from Pt 1 of 25/5/25.

       When you see your other half for the first time, certain feelings will envelope you until the dust settles down like in the case of Jesus and His apostles. Some thought He was a ghost but God inspired Peter to recognize Him when He spoke up. Fear is a feeling and your feelings can deceive you, hence Jesus asked them not to be afraid. Were you afraid or certain of what would happen between you and your present spouse when you first met him or her?

     As events unfold, you walk towards your-spouse-to-be like Peter walking towards Jesus on the water. During your courtship or even when you are already married, the storm (disagreement or misunderstanding) may come your way and make you stager like Peter, but remember that you are not to be afraid. Be focus and keep to the direction you are going. Keep moving and ask for help when necessary from your partner (not outsiders) with faith and trust. Rather than get sunk, you will live to conquer your tribulations. When you doubt your partner, you are certain to lose your balance and crack the walls of your relationship. So, claim what belongs to you and do not let fear or distractions keep you apart. You will be happiest when you find out that you are in the arms of the right person (your spouse).

      When you are out there looking for the person to marry and live the rest of your life, do not consider his or her size, wealth, influence, occupation, publicity, academic qualifications, clothing, facial beauty, height and other worldly possessions but his or her love for you. Approach God who created you to open your eyes and ears to enable you align your endeavors with His purpose in all your undertakings in Jesus’ Name!

      Joachim decided to marry Rosemary because of her slim figure but after given birth thrice, her weight exploded so much that he had to abandon her. Felicia married Paul because of his wealth and when he was experiencing financial crisis Felicia relocated to her parents’ home pending when Paul will recover from his penury. Look at the heart of the man or woman asking you for relationship and if both of you are ready to support each other in good and bad weather till death do you part, then go for him or her. Gold went through rough process before it attained its beauty. The marriage vows said it all and we must not overlook the implications as we embark on marriage. 

     To help humanity, please contribute positively to your marriage life. Be your partner’s positive changer for the good of both of you. Do not associate with a person who will not improve your life. You must be ready at all times (despite all odds) to make his or her life better than you met him/her. This is the yardstick by which a good and successful marriage is measured.

      Some recommended steps to a happy marriage life. As time goes on, it gets harder to find happily married couples. Most people do not know how to be happily married. Yes, it is possible to be fully happy and fulfilled. Take your time to learn how to have a long and happy married life before you step forward for marriage knowing fully well that marriage is not a part-time project. If you are already married and you think you are just staying together, you can still adjust your marriage belt to experience a blissful marriage.

       Ensure you are truly in love with someone you want to spend your life with before you step into a relationship with him or her. And when the relationship is on, check to ensure if you will enjoy spending time with your future spouse irrespective of the situation.

     Know each other long enough to get an idea of the best qualities and the shortcomings of one another. This will enable both of you to navigate the challenges that lie ahead boldly when they come without creating unnecessary gap between you.

     Let it be certain that you are willing to listen to your spouse each time he or she wants to share any subject with you because you are the immediate world around him or her. You should talk about everything in life with your spouse to keep the line of communication open within the family.

      Both of you should find ways to spend time together: Take a walk, sit and chat, watch movies each of you like turn by turn. Both of you should take a walk together. Just do something that can keep you together whenever possible.

      It will be joyful for both of you if you can do something special for each other on regular basis. If you often think of the person you marry as your other half, it will be difficult for you to hurt him or her. Let the strong help the weak to be strong too.

      You have to resolve to work daily to make your marriage the best thing that ever happened to you and your spouse. This step will obviously entice your children, neighbours, and friends to see you as models and emulate both you and your spouse.

      God who united Adam and Eve (our first parents), is ready to unite you to the man or woman of His choice. Yes, God has not changed. The problem is with us. God is ever ready to direct us to where we should be but we are too much in a hurry to listen to His voice. “O that today you would listen to His voice! Harden not your hearts as at Meribah” Ps 95:8. Albert Dunning said, “Great opportunities come to all, but many do not know that they have met them. The only preparation to take advantage of them is to watch what each day brings.”  Wait for Pt.3 please!